Kawther Salam's Diary 

Hell Made in Israel (1-2/11/02)

The Daily Life of Kawther Salam

Thursday, November 1, 2001

Today I'm going to leave my apartment. I'm getting out of the hell, Made in Israel, in the city of Hebron.

I'm running away from death. I'm not ready to die, or to kill, or to make revenge.

I'm prepared to make peace and to be a journalist. The IDF soldiers are professional killers.

The government prepared them for this, to be an occupier of the West Bank. For how long will I continue suffering all that the IDF soldiers caused for me as a journalist and a woman?

For how long will I continue lecturing and talking about my bad experiences with these soldiers?

I don't know if it's possible for me to forget what happened to me or not in the future.

The pain, suffering, injury, detention, broken cameras, sexual harassment.

What nice soldiers they are! I have daily nightmares about what the soldiers have done to me.

Maybe some readers of my diary thought that my stories are unbelievable, that I made them up myself.

But anyone who has been in the occupied territories for a few days and has dealt with the soldiers knows that I am speaking the truth and write honestly in my diary.

Nowadays, the soldiers are very angry with me. After their officer, Lieutenant Herzl,

left Hebron, they blame me and hold me responsible for causing transfer for him because of my critical signs and reports I wrote against him.

Finally, Colonel Weinberg decided to transfer Lt. Herzl but he kept on his nice soldiers in Hebron to continue in his path,

harassing me and avenging the transfer of their officer.

What a nice commander is Col. Dror Weinberg!

He takes care for the innocent citizens of Hebron under his authority.

He takes care to make their life comfortable, secure, and like a small Paradiseas I live in my apartment with his soldiers.

No electricity, no water, no TV. No telephone. In the middle of the garbage and empty Coke bottles full of IDF-issued urine.

He blocked both entrances to my apartment. Maybe Weinberg decided to send me a helicopter to pick me up from my apartment or to return.

He knows how many serious settlers live in my neighborhood. Always they attack me.

So once he decided to block the way to my house, to transfer me from my place to another.

He succeeded. But at the same time, he granted me a favor, the opportunity to be abroad, and write on my experiences with these soldiers,

at the university in Dublin. Really, I should thank him for this opportunity, and excuse what happened to me by his soldiers.

I should excuse Officer Herzl, too, because he already left Hebron.

And I hope the occupation will be stopped and transferred very soon from the West Bank.

I'm willing to have peace, life for everybody, in this region, including my nice soldiers who harassed me and caused psychological pain for me.

These cute soldiers should return back to their families and live their life; they should enjoy it instead of shooting and killing the people in the occupied territories.

For noone deserves to continue killing each other. We have enough land for everybody to live.

Our real enemies are cancer, pollution, nuclear weapons, earthquake, these are our real enemies and the government should understand this.

Palestinians and Israelis will have one future in this area, and they should be neighbors.

The government should prepare the situation for this and not for war and hate and revenge.

They should stop the war and stop using our blood for propaganda and political reasons. It's enough.

These are my words for both of them, Israelis and Palestinians. This is my appeal.

Enough is enough. This war should stop very soon. I'm leaving this area very soon.

And I hope the occupation will get out from the West Bank very soon too.

Friday, 2nd November 2001.

I don't know if I can express my feelings about what happened between me and the IDF soldiers during the last moments before I left Hebron.

Sometime it is difficult for anyone to move deeply inside himself and talk about the avoided and hidden ereas inside his heart.

Maybe it is easy for us to admit something internal for ourselves than to talk about it in front of others.

Especialy if this matter conserning a Palastinian women and the Israeli soldiers.

It was noon time when I finished my tour in Hebron. I had already said good-buy to the kids and Hebronite people.

I was still near my apartement on my way to leave Hebron when the soldiers staioned in the millitary post "4-5" asked me politely to stop.

I asked them what's the matter and one of the soldiers said: please wait a moment, the officer wants to see you and one of the soldier started tallking on radio telphone with his officers.

I walked few meters and I stopped in front of my appartement behaind the blocked entrance with the barbed wire.

I was looking at the small peace slogans I lefted behaind me with two flags, Israeli and Palestinians.

I turned back my face to identify the officer who visited me in my appartement the 31st of October.

He came with other soldiers. He looked different than before. he smiled like a child. I tried to turn my face to the other side. But the officer walked and approached me.

He came to say to me good-buy. He decided to make reconciliation with me before I leave.

We talked together about nice things that nobody is intersted to know about it.

We were talking like friends. Other soldiers were serounding us very quietly.

It was amazing meeting. The same soldiers who used to harasse me im my appartement and the street came to say to "L'hitrot" (good-buy). There was a sade expression on their faces. Even on the face of the officer who said to me the day before that he will be very galde if I will leave Hebron.

I asked myself what happened. He was sade and not happy. I decided to cut this love and hate, attractive and rejecting meeting. I left them.

The officer was confused and he continued to stand in the same place until I left.

I left Hebron while the last scenes from Hebron contined to accompany me during my way to Tel-Aviv.

I understood that we are human beings that need love instead of hate and occupation.