Yesterday, Saturday June 29, the curfew was lifted from 9 a.m to 2 p.m, half the shops were closed it seems their owners come from far areas. The renovation work of the Ministry of Public Affairs for the damaged buildings from the first invasion in March 29 was also freeze may be they except more damage in the way. I saw less people in the streets comparing to the first curfew lifting, may be because in the first lifting people were eager to know what happened to their city. When I was walking with my two daughters close to the 'Rukab' the famous ice cream shop, we heard some stunning cries coming out from one of the building across the street. The three of us got paralyzed, we immediately thought that the army is inside that building and again some horror stories are taking place. We looked around but did not see people going or coming. We decided to go to Rukab shop and phone the Red Crescent or the Red Cross. Why, asked the shopkeeper. We heard very loud cries coming out of this building, my daughter said. Oh, yeh, this is because some young youth are watching the World Cup in this cafי, and Brazil scored a goal in England!!

Few meters down near al Manara, I saw Areej and Wafa'a, surrounded by so many papers hanged on the walls of al Manara buildings. Both represent a new group of young men and women (Nawat), they looked exhausted, they were tirelessly talking to the passing people, raise your voice, write your own feelings on these papers, do something, they said. People was watching them with curiosity, it was like an open debate dealing with so many issues in the same time. I hugged them strongly and admired their courage; women always come with new initiatives.

Thanks for you women that you got men out of their homes, said Sakher Habash in a crowd of women who organized a demonstration in al Manara place to denounce occupation and to urge more people to get out and protest the presence of the Israeli army. Many speakers gave strong speeches, Habash, Wafa'a Mustapha Bargouthi and myself. It was the first time in my life to give a public speech, I didn't want but Nahala, the head of our women's coalition (WATC) pushed me. Yes, we have power, we have the people's power, their tanks will not scare us, their army cannot do anything against our will, we can defeat their army by our bodies, if thousands, hundred of thousands stop in the way of their tanks, they can do nothing, they will not kill all the people, they care about their image, their 'morality', let us show the true reality of a whole people against this army and not a punch of 'terrorists' as they always claim, I said

Vera, my neighbor and friend, came to ask me about the demonstration, it was good, people are more encouraged to get out of their houses now, I said.

Tania, my sister tried for the second time to cross 'Surda' checkpoint to come and see my mother who is so fragile now and losing memory, but she did not manage, they were shooting at people and could not risk her life by going through the mountain roads. Since more than two months now she could not see her and mama keeps calling her name. I am afraid that something might happen to her without being able to see her eldest and beloved daughter, said Vera.

Thank God, I finished my 'Tawjihi' exam (matriculation), said Yassmine my youngest daughter. I remembered her last year, working so hard, under tremendous pressure and stress to get good grades, isolating herself from all the shelling and bombardment were taking place in the city and only focusing on her study. I felt her words so strongly when she was telling me, poor students, I feel their stress and pain, I feel their loss and anger but they should not give up, when they have blood running in their veins they should go on,said Yassmine. She was referring to the dilemma of these students. The army invaded the city after the first Tawjihi (High School) exam in Arabic. The second day they shot at them when they went to their schools. When they lifted the curfew yesterday, they allowed them to pass another exam. Some very strong rumors were spread in the city, that the curfew will be lifted every day from 7 a.m to 7 p.m., but these rumors proved to be false when we got up this morning on the usual calls of 'forbidden to go out or you will be punished'. All the study, all the hard work of yesterday went in jeopardy for the Tawjihi students, they become hostage of their mood, said Yassmine.

But Yassmine now has another worry, she supposes to leave the country to New York, she got a wonderful scholarship but she is never sure if she will be able to leave the country, no one is leaving, how I am going to leave, I wish I can fly like a bird,said Yassmine. At least you have another option opened up for you and not stuck like us, said Maher, my eldest son. Maher is supposes to graduate this year in Sociology from Bir Zeit university, but since almost two months now he cannot reach his university. The Surda checkpoint is blocking his way, as well more than 5,000 students from allover the West Bank and Gaza, from reaching the university. Why the hurry to graduate? once graduated what can you do?, there is no work, cannot leave the country for more studies, cannot start your own project, and of course you cannot marry your girl friend, said Sireene. In all the cases, you are luckier than me, I still have beside this semester another year to finish and who knows what will happen in this year, said Sireene. Sireene, my middle daughter is in her third year in English literature department, an already suffering department before the last Israeli invasion. In her department 10 teachers are lacking, no foreign teachers come to work in the department as used to be, who will come in such a situation, who will accept a low salary like ours so even if they lift the curfew, remove the checkpoint, re-open the university, will still have a problem to finish my fourth year, said Sireene.

You know what, but don't be shocked, I think to get married, what do you think, asked me Sireene. I was really shocked. This very impious girl who always dreamed of being a famous actress. She already acted in two films with very positive feedbacks. She is very talented, said Eli Suliman, the famous Palestinian director and the first who discovered her and also who was the director of her first film. Nada al Yassir her second film producer told us the same thing, she has to study acting, she is very talented girl, she should not waste her talent.

But what about acting, what about being famous as you always dreamed of I said. Acting where and how?, even in Egypt acting school is very expensive and no one gives scholarships in acting, yes acting is my dream but it is very far now to be a realistic one, let us be realistic, marriage is the only realistic option for a girl like me now, at least I will be saved from the daily argument with my dad about waking up early. I don't know why he wants us to wake up early, to do what asked Sireene. To do many things, you can read, you can work in the garden, you can write, I said. But why I have to do this early in the morning we are locked the whole day I can do this anytime during the day or by night. There was notpoint in arguing with Sireene, she depends on the so many stories of her friends who lost the habit of waking early in the morning to start their lives full of energy and enthusiasm.

No, no, I said, you are only 21 and a whole life is ahead of you, may be you can leave one day to finish your study in acting as you always wished, I said. You see mom, you always accused me of being a dreamer, who is the dreamer now, what I don't like to hear is these 'maybes', I hate to be like a feather in the open air I want to feel in control of my life the only thing I can 'decide' and do it is to get married, she said. But do you really want to, and who said that you can really 'decide' about that, look around you how many people 'decided' and planned to get married but they could not. Ahmed went to jail before getting married, Youssef, two Palestinians were killed in his flat while under construction and does not want to move to it and postponed his marriage. Mahmoud is engaged since four years and he cannot reach Gaza to get married. Afaf prepared everything for her son's wedding but we all now under curfew and who knows till when, I said. You see even such a decision you are not really in control of it, we are all tired now leave tomorrow for tomorrow and don't give up on your dreams, at least we can dream, I said.